You have to decide if you and your ex get back together will it truly make you happy? Are you sure you won’t wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place? If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. It’s always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It’s important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.
In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. If they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn’t a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren’t abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.
Be careful not to pester and push your ex. If you’re constantly trying to get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or even stalking them, you’re going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you. Think about it, have you ever had someone do this to you and how did it make you feel?
Another thing to keep in mind is not to argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It’s easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you’re probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present and it’s the only place you can make a difference.
If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can’t go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Focus on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg and plead with them, or make promises of how you’ll change, etc… This won’t help you and your ex get back together at all.
However, if you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You’ll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you’re allowing them to think about you and miss you and remember what attracted them to you in the first place. You’ll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.
I’d love to hear of experiences you have had in this area. Please feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts or questions.
2 comments
Emily Park
June 6, 2011 at 8:55 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I recently ended it with my boyfriend due to trust issues. I feel that trust is the cement to a relationship and without this everything will fall apart. Secrets and lies were the main basis of our relationship. I felt it was best for both of us to end our three year relationship. However devistated i now feel i know that it is for the best! I wish him well!
missy miss
March 19, 2013 at 3:47 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My relationship currently ended. For months we have been off and on. The relationship was not a bad one however we both are holding on to baggage and fear. He was a wonderful man to me and the only thing he requested of me was respect. Now I felt that I was giving him respect however my communication was not the best but I never called him bad things or spoke bad in the mist of a fight. I went from bad relationships where I was dating boys to dating a man and there is a HUGE difference. I had to do some soul searching big time because I can really see myself spending my life with him. So now I am going through the process of trying to fix a problem that has been causing conflict for months. Now he has his faults with communication however I can only work on myself and maybe if I change he will.