First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder “how can I stop my divorce?”, you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationship. You’ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you don’t really want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.
This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.
If your spouse was the one that decided on divorce and you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce. Chances are that you’ve done this, more than once. But the way you say it can make a difference.
It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.
You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest marital counseling. Explain, “I want to stop our divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready to make them better.
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save your marriage relationship
May 12, 2011 at 4:03 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I read your post and this one too http://joysofmakingup.com/get-your-partner-to-agree-to-relationship-counseling/
My advice if you want to save your marriage, you should initiate , talk straight , talk direct, discuss why to save and why to break…
You will definately come up on point higher on why to save. Save for your kids, save for society, save for prestige moreover save for yourself and your partner. Only you both deserve life together.
Emily Park
June 6, 2011 at 8:52 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
As someone who has been recently been divorced i know the problems you are facing. However unloved and neglected i felt, i knew i had to keep strong for my three young children. Pleeding and promising you will change is not the way to go as this only pushes them further and further away!
mary felgate
July 18, 2012 at 11:06 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
thank u somuch forurhelp
John
September 21, 2012 at 10:13 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks, my marriage has gone through a rought ime recently, but you have given me some ideas to help to work through our problems together.
Renaldo Clemente
January 20, 2013 at 6:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Stopping a divorce once it’s in progress can be a gut-wrenching, emotional roller coaster, so anyone needs to think the decision over very carefully before taking steps to make the separation a reality. There are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself. Will you be better off away from your spouse? Can you live without the financial support your spouse supplies? Do you still love him or her? What will you gain and what will you lose in the split? It’s a whole lot easier thinking about these things before the divorce has been filed. If you say things you do mean in the heat of the moment, it’s impossible to take them back, and if you file for a divorce, there may be no turning back.