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Mar 27

My Boyfriend Broke Up with Me. Is It Possible to Get Him Back?

Brogan gives advice about divorceDid your boyfriend break up with you? I know this is a rough time in your life. You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up with you.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection. The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues. You know what they say, “it’s not you… it’s me.”

If you’re going to work at trying to get your ex back, you are going want to keep a few things in mind.

  • Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend breaks up with you, it means that you have less access to him. So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.
  • It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence. It may even make him want you back more.
  • When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

However, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend breaks up with you, then you need to seriously consider moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend breaks up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart. You can talk about the good times and bad. You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names. But, don’t mail the letter! Instead, take a candle out and burn it. This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange. Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in. Get the econ textbook you lent him. If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away. Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him. If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being. If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days. This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend breaks up with you. But it isn’t the end of your life. You can even look at it as an opportunity to get a fresh start and who knows, maybe even meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut. If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means stay the course and not give up.

True love really can survive even a boyfriend break up. If you have had experience at winning your boyfriend back, please feel free to share by leaving a comment.

56 comments

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  1. Emily Park

    I have been in this same situation and the worst thing to do is beg. By acting like your not too bothered will make them wonder why you are not desperate to try and get them back. After 3 months of mine and my ex boyfriends break up he wanted to get back with me! However, i had already moved on and he was then the one left with a broken heart! Not me :)

    1. homegirl

      Hey me and my boyfriend were together for 9 months and he recently broke up with me, i don’t know why. I really miss him a lot and horrible memories from when we were together haunt me. I still love him but i don’t know if he loves me. I really want to get back together with him A LOT. He never texts me anymore but he stares at me and follows me around when I’m with other guys. I think he hates me. How can I make him love me again and want me back :( I LOVE YOU STILL DAMIAN!!!!!!

    2. confused

      iam confused my friend is seeing this girl . she and him broke up ten years ago . how can their realationship last . and they don’t have anything in common . they go places together and nice but they don’t believe in the same religion . how can it last. confused . please answer my question . she 70 years old and hes 54 wouldn’t he want a younger lady. .

  2. michelle rangel

    I feel so sad, because my boyfriend is breaking up with me. and i just dont know what to do.. I love him so much i cant get him out of my head, i cant sleep just thinking of him. His planning to go to mexico on february to see his family, but he said his coming back i just hope he does.. what should i do? thanks

  3. mei

    I can’t get over my boyfriend, he broke up with me about one and a half month ago. Everyday I keep think that he will come back to me one day. He says he still loves me and is for my own good to come to this decision. During this break-up period I tried to convince him by saying nice things which I never really did say before. But, he show no interest to get back with me and hurt me with sarcastic words. I thought he has become a complete change person but I still can’t get myself to believe it. I loves him very much and I believe he still loves me! I really wanna get back together I miss him.

    1. VAL

      I totally understand how you feel. My bf broke up with me from one second to the other. he said he loved me and I did beg and like i read it is the worst thing you can do. act like you dont care about what he did to you be strong. Its just been a week but but I am learning little by little to be stronger. I was with him for 4 years and he ended things so fast. Yes it hurts like hell but if he loved you he would be with you! He is not worth any of your tears he is not worth for you to be waiting on him! If he does love you he will miss you and want to come back with you a changed man, but realize that if he does not change his mind you can always find a way to move on. go out date meet new friends he will not expect for you to do that! what he expects is for you to be crying for him.

  4. ssff

    My boyfriend of two months (i know its not very long) broke up with me last week in the middle of an argument. I think it was partially my fault as well as I was pushing him a bit and I think he got angry, so not sure if the reaction is based on that
    Some background: we went out for the first month and it was total bliss, we would talk all night on the phone, he would constantly come by to meet me and take me out, compliment me lots and was very happy
    Then he had lots of other commitments and pressures suddenly enter his life and he was struggling to handle it all. A family member got seriously ill and passed away last month, a previous relationship from a year ago which had family on both sides involved was being talked about again in his family, and then some other things he wouldn’t talk about with me
    We were mostly communicating over text message and the dynamic changed with me calling him and texting him more often, he would always respond and seem to make an effort too, but he was always stressed and would get worked up easily if I asked to meet or hang out a bit
    Last few weeks, he started hanging out some with his friends, a movie here and there, but would not come and meet me, and I saw that I was being the more affectionate one
    We got into a couple of arguments and I tried to ask him whats going on, maybe pushed a bit and said I’m worried and you are distant, he said there are lots of things going on and frankly he does not have the time or energy right now to sympathize with how I’m feeling, so I said that was hurtful and it was like he was looking for an opening, got really mad at me and said I keep being insensitive to his feelings each time, over and over, and he does not want to be like this anymore. He said he didn’t see us being together anymore and that he would talk to me in detail once he had figured some things out for himself, not before then
    Its been a week since then, I miss him terribly, been crying on and off, but have not messaged him from my end or called him. I see him on the weekends in a common course we have joined, and met him once there, he was very polite and sweet, sat with me, accompanied me, spoke normally but no more than that
    He messaged me a couple of times upon seeing a change in my status or commenting on it and I responded politely but not in a way to encourage conversation
    I really want to give this another shot as I think he’s perfect, what should I do?
    Should I send him a text or call him and say hello? Ask him what the situation is and if we can talk?
    I have to see him again this weekend, how should I act? I really miss him lots, he’s a very decent guy but not as emotional as I am, has a practical mind so I want to understand how he thinks too and get around to him
    BTW, I sent him a long e-mail apologizing for being selfish after our initial fight, and he said he got it and would respond but never did either
    Any thoughts are helpful, thanks

    1. Monica

      Hi,
      My boyfriend of 14 months also broke up with me a week ago…it is actually the second time. The first time, it was 3 weeks ago. He broke up with me because he has a lot of issues and since we were fighting, I guess he just couldn’t handle it. The thing is that the first time, he was still texting me and calling me like he used to and told me he wanted to be friends. For two weeks, we we’re broken up and I even wrote him an letter that i gave to him when I dropped by to give his stuff back. Two days later, he came back and a week later, he broke it off again…My story is similar to yours. He started to not come see me anymore but would make time for his friends and he’s really into soccer so he would always go play soccer and basically I was the last option when he really had nothing to do…I knew my boyfriend had issues at home with his parents. i know about his issues and all I did was to try to help but he hates talking about his problems…I just feel that he left me for no good reasons and basically blamed me for all of his problems because I know he did tell me before he left me that he felt depressed…I just feel that since he can’t really solve his issues with his parents, his only option is to put everything on me. The second time he left me, this time he said that he did not want to have any contact with me anymore and that I should just let him have his own time and do his own thing…now i’ve been crying like crazy because I miss him..the first time he left me, i started to feel better but I wasn’t completely healed but since he came back, everything was fine..now that he left me again, it just hurt more because I feel that he just reopened the wound and stabbed me another time…now I don’t know if he’ll ever come back…like if he only needs time for himself to sort his things out…Right now, we had 0 contact…everyday i just feel like calling him but all my friends are telling me that i shouldn’t call him since he did ask me to not contact him…Honestly, we have been fighting but i just feel that from all of the people around him, i’m the only one that has been trying to help but i’m the only one that is being hurt right now…Ive given so much to him and I just don’t understand why he would leave like this suddenly…

      SSFf,
      I know you have written this comment a while ago but if you see this, can you tell me what happened and what did you do to cope with this..

  5. nicki

    help please, can i still get my boyfriend back even though we broke up 3 months ago?

  6. Miss G

    I really love my ex guy,wev broken up nd we both have entered into a rebound relationship but we still love eachother bu thins were not working out before our breakup what do i do?

  7. Dana

    I was going out with my boyfriend for only one month (i know its a short amount of time) but i am seriously convinced that hes the one for me. i have had a lot of dating experience and know exactly what i am and am not looking for in a guy. he really is what i was looking for in every way. well we started dating pretty much right away after he ended things with his 3 year relationship. I knew that was probably not the best timing, but he was extremely happy with me and things were absolutely great. we pretty much spent every second of every day together either in person or at least texting and talking. last week we parted ways as i have to stay at my college for the summer and he will be at home (4 hours away from me) for the summer. once we separated, he started to have weird feelings about his ex girlfriend. He left as if he hadn’t really had closure with her and was talking to me very openly about it. I stepped away as the “girlfriend” role and started speaking to him as a friend who would help him with the situation as unbiased as possible. he was amazing at how i was handling it and was so happy that i was there to help him through everything. then 3 days later, he decided to end things with me so that he could figure out what he wanted. I know that its completely fair and he deserves the time to think things through. the more we texted about it though, the more it wasnt really about his ex girlfriend, it was more about not wanting to start a relationship with me so quickly after and that he needed time to figure himself out. i, again, completely agree with his decision of wanting to end things with me. the thing that bothers me, though, is that he keeps telling me not to wait for him and to just forget about him and move on. i told him that it is impossible for me to do that because i know that i ultimately want to be with him and that i’m not gonna pressure him for time to come to terms with what he wants, but that when he is ready, i will be there for him and would want to get back together. i told him that in the mean time i would be there as a friend for him. but he keeps just responding by flipping out telling me not to wait for him. i know that hes very indecisive and changes how he feels all the time, so is he just saying this stuff to get my off his mind for a little so he can think about the other stuff going on in his life? or is he really serious that he doesn’t want to get back with me, even once things are figured out. i asked him to call me so we could have a real conversation on the phone and so that i could apologize for making things hard on him and wanted to just let him know that i was there as a friend and that i just missed talking and texting like regular friends. but he stopped responding to my texts. all i do is stare at my phone waiting for him to answer and hes just not. i dont want to pester him and drive him away more, but i am just siting here in my room thinking about him all the time and everything reminds me of him. i am constantly shaking and feeling nauseas and not really knowing how to handle all my free time. in my free time i just cry all the time. all i want is to talk to him like normal again. i miss him so much and just ultimately want him back. he is so perfect for me and i know that i already treated him way better then his ex girlfriend who had cheated on him. he even said that he was unhappy with her for the last 8 months of their relationship. but besides that point, i guess i just need some encouraging words or some advice with how to cope. im sick of having this feeling in my stomach and staring at my phone waiting for him to answer.

  8. missy

    Its always hard to go thru a break up wheither u went out for months or even years,I had recently go though a breakup with ex bf of a few months,then I met this very sweet and sincere guy text me chatted cald me then we fell inlove…longstory short wefell inlove and decided to meet the fri nite went perfect we were like magnets drawn towards each other one thing led to the other he even proposed then wen he dropt me at my fams house where I was staying at we had a argument,he stormed off drove away angry we text each other,words were exchanged I was mad at him told him to grow up nd act childish,the following day we text again he told me that I have a split personality and that it puts him off I told him my reasons,he was distand then the eve left me a message that things aren’t working out..I feel so hurt and betraid exspecialy since I told him wot I’ve been thru wth my x I told him tht I wanted to take things slow he prom hed never leve me wrote poems even serinated me how is it possible that someone can just switch off their feelings just like that?did he realy love me or wht or was I again blinded by love?I’m so confused!!!

  9. Meggy:)

    Hi, I was with some one for 9 1/2 months. Last summer, we broke up. I still love him very much. We were actually talking about the next step. I was his first for everything. I did some horrible things, but he was patient with me and understanding. I’ve never had a guy like him. Eventually he stressed out….I think because of me…and a lot of hell broke loose. It’s been a year since we broke up and I am looking to get him back now. I have decided not to dwell on what happened anymore, and ever since I have been a happier person in some ways…but I still feel as though half of me is missing, ripped away, ever since we broke up. I really would like some help. Email me, I will give you the details and you can give me advice please! ilovezackaree@gmail.com. I really need him in my life. We are still friends thank God, but not the way we used to be. He knows somewhat how I feel, but from what I read on the article, I plan on using these tips. I have so much of his stuff still. I know I need to box it up, just need a box. I have sort of already written down a letter, but I never mailed it. I just folded it up and put it away, kind of like locking my feelings away. I miss him dearly. Please..help me..

  10. nancy

    my boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago nd we were together 4 almost 4 months. i just came back frm mexico nd stayed there like almost 3weeks.nd wen i came back,he broke up with me nd i cant eat, sleep, nd im really stressed out nd he says he really loves me but he said its the best 4 both of us nd tht breaks my heart but he is still hoping we cud still be friends but i dont want to, i wana be more thn friends like it waz before

  11. Melissa

    My boyfriend dumped me for dumb reasons that we could of worked on and went back with ex he cheated on me with how do i win him back

    1. Mitzie

      I’ve been with my boyfriend since high school. . . We were each other’s first everything. We came to college together and in our second year here started having problems. He said he needed time to think and figure things out but while he was doing that he was spending every night in her bed and has been having sex with her since we broke up and said we were trying to figure things out. .

      Before I figured out what he was doing we had a great time going on little dates and he would talk about how he liked it and it was fun.

      I finally made him choose between us and he said that he does care for her and wants to see how things go with her. Than I was like ok I guess I can’t talk to you than. . . I told him how much I loved him and thought we could make it through anything and he said he thought so too and that I really was his best friend. He cried and we hugged and kissed when we left for the last time.

      Shes the kind of girl that’s always at the bars, doesn’t care what he does and has slept with numerous guys and broken up many relationships. She says this time she cares though.

      I think it may be it’s just new different and exciting for him but it worries me that he thinks he cares about her. He acts all ok around everyone but every time he talked to me before I decided not to talk anymore to him, he would still act like he cared deeply about me, and even said he tries to not think about things with me because it hurts and makes him confused and mad so he just pushes it to the back of his mind.

      Im not sure if I should completely give up. . . Or if I should have no contact with him for about 2 1/2 weeks than ask him to hang out and flirt with hiim. . . Or should I just contact him at all? We’ve never really had not contact for any longer than about a week.

      Any thoughts or suggestions on what to do. . . How to win him back?

  12. Kbc18

    My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago
    He tolled me he still liked me a lot and knew we would go bale out in the furter but needed to focus on other things right now I completely understand him! Im just not shore when the time comes when he wants to start dating again I will be interested
    I really do love him right know thou and all I can do is wait and be nice to him
    I love you Logan!!!!!

  13. Eilza

    My live in boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me….I am unemployed, no money or a place to go. He said I can stay here until I find a place but I’m scared to lose him. I have nothing right now he said he needs his space and time to figure his life out. Even though he spent time telling me not to leave when I ever felt down. He made this decision on his own without letting me in….I’m so empty inside and feel desperate like I’m begging him to stay with me. I’m so confused and have no where to go. I’m stuck being his roommate and worry he’ll start talking to someone soon and leave me for good….we’ve been through so much and yet I feel he’s taking the easy way out by not allowing us to grow together but instead starting his life over with a clean slate.

  14. bernadette horan

    ive just split up with my boyfriend after 19 months we had some good times together but the relationship turned sour towards the end, i still love him with all my heart and always will only as friends which weve agreed to be x i wish him every happiness in his next relationship to be x

  15. Sarah

    We always fight, there small fights.. Fights that don’t matter to the exstent of breaking up. When we go out partying to a house party/clubs. He gets the feeling that he gets ignored by me,

    I don’t want to be that girl who ditches their friends to be with their man every second or w.e. . Feel like he’s playing me. He’s madly in love with me and said before he could never even think of seeing me with another guy. He’s even overprotective..Persians..

    When he told me he loved me, I never replied it. But now when I know I’m not with him, I know I do now, and been crying myself to sleep. Knowing we might be broken up for good. I don know hat to do..

  16. Melanie

    My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago thru a text in the middle of the night after I fell asleep. We were together for a year and 3 months. He’s cheated on me, lied to me, and is not a very nice person sometimes. But I’m still in love with him. I’ve been so depressed haven’t eaten since we broke up and I’ve done lost 10 pounds from it. I want him back tho. I just don’t kno what to do without him. :( help?

  17. Brittany

    My boyfriend left me yesterday after I asked him why he wasn’t acting right and such. (( Making excuses for not talking or doing anything, ‘forgetting’ to say he loved me, etc. ))

    We had been together for 10 months, and he is my first ever love. . . And I was his. The relationship was long-distance.

    He’s told me that he just doesn’t feel the same about me. He’s also told me that he’s been very stressed, and that he just doesn’t want a relationship. . . But, I’ve been experimenting antidepressent medications, so my reaction was extremely rash. . . I did everything everyone says not to do. I cursed, got clingly, and begged. I made it very clear that I needed him and was depent upon him. Yet, to my avail, his decision stood untouched.

    Now, sitting here, I can’t express enough how much I regret this. . .

    He’s said that there’s still hope for the future, and since he’s fallen in love with me once,so I’m hoping I can bring him back again. . . But. . . I want to talk to him more. . . And to try and explain to him that if we got back together, we would be happy again, just like the good ol’ times. But he only pushes me away. So I try and talk normally to him, try and be happy and think positivly, but it just hurts so much, not to mention the apparent awkwardness.

    I’ll keep my faith in time, and hope that he does get everything on his end straightened out so he’s ready for a relationship again. I know he’s been extremely busy with school lately. . . Unless that was just another lie to avoid talking to me. . .

    In the meantime, I suppouse the best thing for me to do is to straighten myself out.

    Does anyone have any input on my sitiuation? Is there really still hope? I still feel that he wants nothing to do with me, as he trys to push me away every time I ty to logically sort things out. I can’t do this by myself. . . But again, maybe he just needs time. . .

    . . . I’m. . . Really at a loss of words at the moment. . .

    1. Maria

      I know how you feel the exact same thing happened to me, only i ignored him after he broke up with me and then he came back to me, we’re not quiet together but talking alot. If you and your boyfriend start talking again act cool and not like you’re really upset. Bring up old memorys but not in a clingy way. As much as you want the conversation to go on forever don’t try to keep it going, if he wanted to talk to you he would and if he doesn’t then why would you even want to talk to him in the first place. Long story short.. Act like you’re fine and he will want you back. Hope this helped :)

  18. Maria

    My boyfriend and I were together for roughly a year and he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He broke up with me about 6 months ago ( I know it’s a long time), and i can honestly say not a day has gone by when i didn’t think about him. I didn’t have any idea why he broke up with me untill a few weeks ago i ran into his good friend. We were both very drunk so he started telling me that my ex was asking him over to drink almost every night after we broke up cause he was so upset. So that made me question the break up more. But anyway after the break up i completely ignored him for about 5 and a half months. just a few weeks ago he wrote to me on facebook and now we’re chatting all the time, he even asked me to his house and i went and it was great. So the ignoring thing really does work and i know this probably didn’t help anyone but I was just sharing my thoughts :-)) And good luck to all you girls trying to get your boyfriends back!

  19. daijsha

    My boyfriend, now ex, were together for almost 3 years.we’ve had our fair share of breakups and makeups,and typically, we get back together. But this time is different, so different..he wants no contact at all,we haven’t talked in a few days.. I wrote a 7 page letter, and I am now debating on sending it to be given to him. i need some advice, please !!

  20. chiyatrikiya

    I just broke up with my boyfriend 2months ago just a week before his birthday. I never wanted to do so, we had long distance relationship we were staying in two different states. We were happy together , we used to have some frictions and everyone does have. But everything was fine and everything was working as expected and our parents were involve and we were planning one step ahead. But after 1 week I spend with him in his state, which we usually do sometime he visit to my place and some time I used to go to his place. the moment I was back from his state. He started ignoring my phone calls, messages and emails. Out of frustration i just told me him I want to breakup with you. Even after breakup we met over a weekend, we share everything but still he didnt told me why he was ignoring me. I dont know the reason why he forced me to break up with him. Out of anger I said lots and lots bad things to him, but it was just because of anger.

    Even after the breakup I used to write him the emails, but never receive any reply from his end. I am not myself, I laugh unncessary in front of others, and everyone feels I am the most happiest and cooliest person in this planet. When I am alone I just cry and cry. I dont have any friends or family member around me with whom I can share my feelings and its like I am left all alone in this world.

    Everyday I wake up with the hope that he will be back, and every night I sleep with a disappointment. I cant even see him as we are in different states. But it seems some magic can only bring him back . Just waiting for that magic to be happen

  21. Aaliyah

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago he started to act weird and distant. To this day he still tells me he loves me but doesn’t really say much when I bring up the fact that me and him aren’t together .. I don’t see him often but we do text each other regular not like how we use to text though to make matters worse he’s my best friends cousin .. I did everything that I wasn’t suppose to do which was beg and told him how much I still love him … Can someone help me .. Is there still hope if he tells me he loves me ? I could possible get him back? I just want him back :)

  22. karmin

    My boyfriend broke up with me about three weeks ago but i still love him….he broke up with me because he said he felt distant from me and i wasn’t seeing him that often but i want him back can someone please help me ………….. We all want our boyfriends back dont we …I STILL LOVE YOU JUAN!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. emilee

    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and he started dating and i can’t get him off my mind i have dreams about him every night and its killing me we have so much fun together and now knowing that he has a girlfriend i don’t no what to do i want him back so bad. A bout three weeks ago we were fine there was nothing wrong but then one day he just started being complety rude and not saying very nice things. PLEASE help me i want him back so bad. I STILL LOVE YOU CALEB.!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  24. emilee

    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and he started dating and i can’t get him off my mind i have dreams about him every night and its killing me we have so much fun together and now knowing that he has a girlfriend i don’t no what to do i want him back so bad. A bout three weeks ago we were fine there was nothing wrong but then one day he just started being complety rude and not saying very nice things. PLEASE help me i want him back so bad. I STILL LOVE YOU CALEB.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. Donna

    My boyfriend and I broke up three weeks ago. It wasn’t completely out of the blue. We’d had some discussions about how I wanted marriage and kids. He’d been married once already and had kids and wasn’t anxious to go through that again. I tried to break it off after that discussion but he’d talked me out of it. Fast forward a few weeks. He lives two hours away, so I drove up to visit. I’d been working a ton of OT lately so I treated both of us to an expensive room for the weekend. He’d just texted his ex wife telling her he was bringing the kids to the hotel the next day to swim, and we were soaking in the hot tub having couples time. We’d been in there for an hour, just talking about random life stuff, and he was saying he wanted to get out and get a bite. Then boom! He said he wasn’t happy with his life, and he had no feelings for me. He felt nothing for me, his parents, or his sister. Since he and his ex wife broke up bc he caught her cheating on him he just feels numb about everyone and everything. (This happened almost four years ago, btw). He said after dating me for seven months he felt he should feel some love for me, but he feels nothing at all. He said we had no future together and he was never going to give me what I wanted (marriage and kids). I went ballistic, particularly since I’d just dropped so much cash on the weekend and it was nonrefundable. Plus I’d always gone above and beyond to be a good girlfriend and support him in every way. He is a security guard who makes very little and has to pay child support out of that, so I would step up and pay for things, treat his kids, that sort of thing. Plus I’d lend him money when he was strapped for cash. So I felt I didn’t deserve for him to coldly tell me he doesn’t love me and wants to break up in the hot tub out of nowhere. Part of me still feels this isn’t real. He’s prone to fits of depression and massive mood swings, and this seems to have been one of them. The fact that he says that he feels nothing for anybody makes me certain it’s depression talking. But I have tried to move on with my life, as hard as it is. I haven’t had contact since the break up other than a few texts concerning the money he owes me. (He said he’d send payments, we’ll have to see if he actually does). I figure he needs to be without me for a while and see what it’s like. I still have hope. I’m willing to compromise on the marriage thing, it’s not that big of a deal, but I do want to have a baby and at the age of 38 time is starting to get short. He did say several times that he wanted to try for a son, since he has two little girls, so it’s not like he’s been totally against having more kids. I don’t know if he’s going to come back, I just know I need to take care of myself right now. It really helps to talk about it on these sites, and hear others who are going through the same thing, and know I’m not alone.

  26. Baily

    So, My boyfriend of 2 and a half months broke up with me 4 days ago. We were in his car at lunch. He was acting weird and quiet but he just said he didn’t feel good so i didn’t think anything of it. We got back to the school parking lot and he asked me if i was happy with “us”. (keep in mind that the night before someone told me him and this girl have a thing) I simply asked if they did. He kinda flipped. He said, “no, of course not. that is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard. You should know not to believe those things. I cant even talk to a girl without people assuming.” I just replied by saying that i was afraid he would ditch me for some other girl and all he said was “ditch? that sounds bad” I said “well yeah, it is. New conversation!!” and he said “okay, wanna go to lunch tomorrow?” of course i said yes) Anyways back to the main part. We were in his car he asked if i was happy he i said yes. I asked him the same question and he said “yeah..idk, well i like you alot but i dont wanna be in a relationship” So i just said okay and got out of his car. His friends are my friends. So everyone is asking him what happened and he always says, “you dont understand, i had to do it” Well since we share the same friends I always see him looking at me. And where ever i am or he is i see him! And he kinda sorta stares at me! But he wont text me, and i am just waiting for that text to come in saying “hi”. That is all i want! DO i text him first saying that?? I dont want him to think i want him back if he doesnt want me back, ya know? I want him back so bad. SO BAD.

  27. Ann

    Hi, my boyfriend and had just broke up 2 days ago. I knew he loves me so much but i cant control my behaviour and i didn’t know why im always upset with him. I loved him too. He gave me so many chances for me to change and learn. But i failed i stopmed like a child the other night and walk away . And i emailed him like im accusing him for something that was a miscommunications and i was listening to my own wrong feelings and thoughts. Whilst he spent alots for my birthday to make me happy pn the 21 of oct. i ddnt know why i behave like that to him i kept promising to changed and not acting that way and i failed.When the following morning he read my Email and he was so mad and hurts and he emailed me were through and he is done . Even on txt . I was pleading , begging , sorry bcs i knew it was my faults he rejected all of those . And he told me find someone else who likes fightings and drama. I have asked for another last chance but he got mad. And when i said we loved each other , why u cant forgive me. He said im only harassing him, and he said all im doing is making him more angry, all my doing is telling him that hes done the right thing to get rid of drama.and the last he said stop. You’re making me more angry. What steps should i do now? It was my faults. But i wanted him to believe me this time that im determined to change. But i cant msg or email him at all cos i dont want to make things worst. But our pictures still on his Facebook and also our latest pics from my birthday , even my thank u msg on his wall still there. Tell me please is there any hopes for us to reconnect does he make a move? I cant tell my troubles to anyone cos i wasnt listening to them i act however i want. Please i need someone to talk and give a piece of advice . I have no mom to share with.. Thank you

    1. missy miss

      Ann not sure if you and him got back together but you have to give him time to heal and get out his angry feelings. One he was probably frustrated that he cared about you and you would change and two the only way he knew how to deal with it was to leave. Men don’t like all that emotional drama thats just the truth.

  28. laura`

    I was with my boyfriend for 4 years, febuary we hade a argument and broke up with me…. weve seen each other on and off but he says he dosnt want a gf because it seems to be pressure. I have just returned from his this weekend and he kept mistakingly telling me how he loved me, i just pretended i didnt hear him, when really i wanted to say i love you to!!! he called me his princess, baby and babe when i was with him…. he dropped me home and sine then i havmt heard from him :( , this happens every time thought, he will drop me home and then i wont hear from him for olike 2 weeks!!! i dont know what to do… i love him sooooooo much, i cant give up, we obveously still love each other….. Need some advice xx

  29. Call me Orange

    Dear Readers,
    my bf Juan just broke up with me a couple days ago and my heart is so torn. i must admit that we have bin through hell and back. we were dating for abt 8 to nine months before getting serious. we have bin serious for abt 8 to 9 months as well. when i was with him i wasnt happy the way i should b but i still wuz always willing to work it out in hopes of getting the respect love and affection we once had back. r relationship got to a point where i cudnt even b around my homegilrs without him accusing me! it hurts so bad to b accused. i spent most of my time towards the end of r relationship tryna find ways to fix r relationship. i feel like he loves me deeply but wants to take the easy way out instead of working it out. good times arent gonna always outweigh the bad but that doesnt always mean a breakup is necessary bcuz true soulmates work it out and crazy shit is he told me we were soulmates a couple hrs b4 we broke up :( i jess dont understand. every1 keeps telling me 2 leave him alone but i cant help but 2 call him and txt him consistenly. i cant stop crying i want my baby back. but something deep inside me tells me i definetly need 2 fall bac and give it space and evaluate things otheriwse move on. idk y im so scared of space because with a couple exes b4 him (my ex Bobby) i broke up with him and told him it was over but deep down inside if he would of gave me space i would have came back but he bothered me so much for weeks all day everyday that i became turnt off by him. but now im in the same position and completely understand y he wudnt give me space. he wuz afraid 2 lose me like im afraid 2 lose juan but i also kno from experience that not giving sum1 their space is very detrimental if u r tryna get sum1 bac. well idk if im jess tryna get all this off my chest or looking for responses but feel free 2 contact me via email Quionacole@gmail.com with sum feedback cuz i’d appreciate it a bunch.

  30. Jo

    My boyfriend of 4 and half years broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. It was so heart breaking and really out of the blue. Literally the day of our break up we were talkin about getting keys copied to our places so we could give them to each other. When I got home I even made dinner for us and then he was suppose to help me with an assignment for school and he wasn’t really in the mood cuz he had to work and well I was wrong and made a really big deal out of it and then we started fighting. He ended up walking out and then I tried to call him and get him to come back. I finally met up with him again and drove him to work and he was really upset with me. A little history about us. He is in recovery now from an addiction problem and this is the most serious he’s ever been about his recovery and I’ve been so proud of him. But also I haven’t really learned to cope with the issues that came about and I don’t react well like I should. Well the next day we texted and talked and I said I was really sorry and I knew how I reacted was really uncalled for. Well that night he called me and said that he needed his space to figure himself out and that we were over. I was soooooo devasted!!!! I have seriously been so sad and depressed and just feel so empty without him. We have talked and hung out off and on since the break up. I still love him very much and I’m really trying to just give him his space. I mean we both say we want to be friends but then we both say we can’t be friends it’s all just screwed up. I am very proud of his recovery and I just don’t want to be a bother anymore and I need to just work on myself and gain back my self respect. I’ve realize that if him and I are going to get back together it’s in God’s hand and if there’s any advice I can give to all the people who are broken hearted, work on yourself and just remember you are important no matter what the guy says. By not treating yourself with respect he won’t treat you with respect either. Thanks for reading my story.

  31. heartbroken

    Hey my boyfriend broke up with me and i dont wanna do anything like i wont even eat and i have to go to school and i sit by him in every class and it would be to emberrasing to ask the teachers to move us i really want him back

  32. anita

    my boyfriend broke up with me,our relationship was not even up to a month when we broke up.his problem was that i should stop answering guys call and stop talking to boys. on this faithful day i was with a male friend of my standing along the road side and my boyfriend call me on the phone and ask me where am i. i told him my where about and he came to the place and see me and my male friend as we were disscusing then he went back to his house latter he send me a text saying i should never come close to him in my entire any more that i am a cheap prostitute am a gold digger am a public toilet. when i read the text i decide to confront him so i went to his house and he trow me out of his house that it is over between us. please what do i do? the insult he gave is too much and now he wants me back.

  33. Peg

    I’ve been in a relationship for over 31/2 years and my boyfriend broke up with me because of the guilt his Mother, Ex and Daughter makes him feel. I know I should move on, but it’s really hard. Our love was like no other. People loved to be around us, because of the love we had towards each other. I’m not getting any younger and know I should move on , but I love him so much. I know nothing will change with the family members. Any advise ??

  34. Madeline

    I
    My boyfriend broke up with me cause I did not give him all the love and attention. He went with someone else and now I realized that he is gone and I miss and love him so much.. I wish he can leave her and come back to me I know if he comes back to me, I will make sure he will never let me go.. This goes out to my ex boyfriend of15 years we have a 10 year old daughter together and this woman had to ruin my life and his…

  35. Allie Khumalo

    Today at shool my boyfriend broke up with me. I’m sad i want to get back together with him but I’m scared to tell him HELP me please

  36. Tayler

    Me and my boyfriend broke up almost 3 months ago and is ignoring me. every time I see him at school I get quiet and my eyes begin to tear up. I tried talking to him but he keeps telling me the same thing and its heart breaking to hear that from someone I love so much! But the worst part about it is the way he broke up with me. That night I was asleep and he called and broke up with me through voicemail. <'3 i just really want to be able to call him mine once again but every time we go out it seems like there is always someone there to break us up :'(

  37. bondi

    Okay so me and my boyfriend been together for 5 years almost 6 years now and he broke up with me about 6 months now I don’t know what to do or say to him that will make him come back is part of my fault he broke up with me I cheated on him, but I love him so much I tried to see if he can forgive me nobody’s perfect but he and it

    1. ambry

      Hi bondi,
      I’ve been with my guy for almost 6 years and we had an amazing relationship. we are eachothers first everything. we even had a condo and cats together. and an engagement ring :( i was having doubts about our relationship because id never been with anyone else. i thought i needed to date others to figure out what i wanted. so i broke up with him out of the blue. i broke up with him mid october, but we were in contact for a while, we even slept together at one point…the thing is i told him i was going to date one of his best friends. i liked his friend throughout the years(a little) but only recently realized i liked him because i liked the attention from him, because i was insecure. i never dated the guy…just texting. things seemed to be getting better with me and my guy…we even went on a date. then all of a sudden he told me he didnt want to be with me anymore. ive never felt such pain in my life…he told me this december 15th. i cried and begged, but i know i need to just leave him alone. i cut ties with the other guy right away. my guy is so hurt that he is doing everything he can to get over me. and hes an all or nothing kind of person, so im worried he wont forgive me. i hope youve had some luck, thanks for posting your story…it helps to know people are in the same boat. <3 best wishes

  38. hanna

    Ladies,
    God wants to heal the brokenness you feel! He loves and cares for you to the extent that He actually DIED for you, and then He rose again FOR YOU. would these guys you talk about do that??? I know the pain, my bf of 7 months broke up with me two days ago. Don’t let satan get you down with this though! The Lord has never nor will He ever leave or forsake you. psalm34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” Oh how He wishes you would come to know Him!!! HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW.

  39. claire

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months and the first time we een met we had a great connection and things were so great with us. in January he started getting sick but I never noticed it could be signs of depression and now I do. We would often have small fights here and there bcos of stress from work or stress from school. He has a lot to deal with financially and I know it’s driving him insane. Anyway, with the fights it’s bcos we would always text about his day and it would always be him or I taking our emotions out on eachother and the lack of miscommunication through text caused the fights. He has had a lot pour down on him last month with family problems and financial issues. He took a break with me and we would talk once every week or so bcos I wanted to see how he was doing. I know that was a mistake bcos now were broken up. He said it’s him & not me and that he’s super depressed and doesn’t know when he will ever be happy again. He said that everything added up and came together kn the wrong way and then person he is right now can’t handle a relationship. He kept apologizing for not knowing who he is right now and feels guilty bcos he can’t give me what I Want or need. I understand completely but I think I pushed him and caused more pressure when I asked If he sees us ever getting back together again in a few months from now and his response was “idk . isk if this is ever going to work”. I tried explaining that I’d sill like to keep the promise of being his partner and being there for him but more so of a friend atm. He just kept sayig “idk I need space and time to figure thigs out and explore life and trying to become normal”. I miss him so much. We haven’t talked since the breakup which happened a week ago today. I want to see how he’s doing but I want him to reach out to me first so he doesn’t think I’m needy. when we did have a talk bte I forgot to mention this, when we would talk after a fight it’s bcos he doesn’t think he can be the same person as he was when we first met (honey moon phase) and that he thinks he’s responsible to make me happy and feels guilty when I’m sad. I try to re assure I’m happy and fine on my own being and that I’m not expecting anything other than him to show me he loves me and cares about me. he also told me not to wait around and wants me to be happy even if it’s not with him and that he stil wants to be friends and make me happy… Idk what to do. Hes the best thing that’s happened bcos every other guy has treated me horribly. This guy has SHOWED me through actions and not just words how much he cares about me. I’m scared he’s never going to come back and I can’t seem to let go. We had so much planned together. :( I just don’t know what to do other then let time takes it’s course

  40. claire

    I also said I understand and that id still be here if e needs someone to talk to and that I’m proud of him for seeking help and I support him. and that I’m glad we can still be friends. it just hurts :(

  41. Nono

    Me and my ex partner broke up a week ago. We have been together for 6 years then had few years break and since june 2011 we were seing eachother occasionally. Last year in october our relationship got to a different level. I was with him everyday we talked about the future we had plans we talked about babie. I felt that we are on a same level and we were happy. We had an argument last week and i packed my stuff and left. He wasnt expecting it. I regret cause we could have talked but he wouldnt call for days. I know i hurt him but he made me upset. I want him back i love him but he is so stubburn. He said he has made the right decision. We had few arguments but we talked about everything. I didnt expect this. He has been in my life for 10 years i want him back but dont know what to do.

  42. Melissa

    My bf broke up with me yesterday. We are in a long distance relationship and i think thats making things worse. Yesterday i went to check his twitter cos i got his password for him and while i was checking thru the messages i found out that he messaged this girl asking her: can i kick it with you tonight”? so i got so mad and i confronted that girl and she said she doesnt even know him and stuff. Then 5 min later i tried calling my bf and his phone was off but apparently he was on twitter cos he unfollowed me right away. Then i called him back and he picked up and i was mad and ask where have u been? and he was like i.. then he said listen whatever i have to end this relationship and thats all he told me and hang up on me. We didnt even have a chance to talk. But i texted him some really bad stuff. And since yesterday i havent heard from no text no call. I dont know what to do?? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. I love him soo much and ive been crying all night and day yesterday i feel so down and depressed i have feeling in my stomach that im gonna die or smth. What should i do? should i call him back or let him contact me or what????????? IM GOING CRAZY. Also we have been dating for 5 months now and we were superrr close to each other like ive never been with someone that way. PLEASE HELP

  43. Lynn

    I was with my boyfriend for six years. We got along unbelievable great. We had plans to get married and always talked about it and having children. Then one day, out of the blue, he was very angry with me and I could tell something was really wrong. I chose to ignore it and hope whatever it was would work itself out because I hadn’t done anything to make him angry. About a week later he said he needed to tell me something and that I should sit down for it. And then he dropped the bomb. He said he hadn’t loved me for two years and I wasn’t the person he wanted to spend his life with. I know this sounds cliché, but I really thought he was the love of my life. I am devastated. I tried for 4 weeks to convince him he had made a mistake and all he would say is “leave me alone”. I finally told him that although he has hurt me so bad, I will honor his decision. I haven’t texted or called him since. My heart is broken. Ignoring him hasn’t worked because that’s what he wanted me to do. He never did really tell me what went wrong but I guess he just stopped loving me and didn’t realize it for awhile. There’s nothing you can do when the man you love doesn’t return your love. Nothing. You will only make yourself miserable. I am so sad but I’m trying to accept it. I’ll probably never trust myself and my own feelings ever again, because I really never saw this coming.

  44. tefy

    My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and wants to talk to me also I want to give he’s things back. But I am scared of what he’ll say to me, I couldn’t stop crying and thinking of every possible thing he could tell me. Like ( wanting me back or he thought all night about it ) I was the one that triggered the break up but I just wanted him to compromise he never does. So he got mad said he didn’t want a girlfriend and that he felt like this for a whole week but this was the first real argument we’ve had and he said he wanted to fix things that passed week but there was nothing to fix if we didn’t have issues that passed week. I honestly dont know what to do.

  45. i want a boyfriend

    You need to be really precise here, so something like “Change my calendar on 10th November. When you accept reality instead of avoiding it, you eliminate an enormous amount of tension and worry that is being felt by both you and your boyfriend. If your ex boyfriend perceives in your voice that you’re thriving as well as even better after the relationship ended, it will feel like a fast kick to their personality.

  46. Get a Guy To Like You

    I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with
    the layout on your weblog. Is ths a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?

    Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare
    to see a great blog like this one nowadays.

  47. bre bre

    i have been going out with my best friend matthew for about a month now, and evreything was complements
    evreyware…its sooo sad becuase i never saw it coming…………….(tears) it happend today im in 6th grade we are both 12 he was perfect!!!! we had evreything in commen i took evreything i had to keep myself from crying
    wile reading the note he said the realationship was not working out…,it was in science in 6th period. i cried on the buss on the way home. he said he just wants to be friends.i felt like i was hit by a truck,stabed in the back
    i have noooo idea why it has to be this way….why????…..but i still feel like i hate him but i still want him.

    1. bry

      are you actually shitting me? you’re fucking 12 yrs old. grow the fuck up.

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