If you want to stop divorce, your mission is to convince the person that wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try. This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary for you to have a chance of stopping a divorce. A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork. The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not right away.
So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?
If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop the divorce. Explain in a calm way that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance. The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances. Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad and you really want another chance. You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.
You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for millions of couples and your relationship could benefit from it too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance before they file for or attempt to finalize the divorce.
During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you. You can remind them why you’re together in the first place. And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop the divorce temporarily, but permanently.
When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later. Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier. So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.
T Dub Jackson has an excellent package that has helped countless couples save their relationship. It would at least be worth checking out. You can find it here: JoysOfMakingUp.com/magic
