Oct 21

Stop Listening to Your Girlfriends – Here’s What You Need to do to Get Him Back

Brogan_cbHatYou love ‘em dearly. You know your girlfriends have your back. But, when it comes to tactics to get your ex back, they just may be steering you in the wrong direction. They could, well meaning as are, even be hurting your chances of success.

Getting dumped by the boy you still love is one of the most difficult things a girl can go through. When it’s all said and done, you have one thought on your mind – getting him back.

Your girlfriends have been there to hear you out. They’ve given you shoulders to cry on. They’ve even shared their super secret chocolate stashes with you to help you get through this crisis in your life.

Now, they’re offering you the best advice they have to give on how to get him back. Unfortunately, their advice is based on the rules girls play by and they aren’t going to be all that effective at getting him back. If you really want to win him back, you’re going to have to play the game by his rules – to some degree.

Playing a Girl’s Game with the Boy’s Rule Book

  1. Never let him see you coming. Your number one priority right now is to get him back. That means you have to dedicate yourself to the task. But, you have to do it in a way that doesn’t look like you’re trying to get him back. Don’t show your hands because he’ll constantly be watching and waiting for you to make your move.
  2. Show the world you’ve moved on. This includes your girlfriends. Smile. Go out and join the crowd. Fake it until you have everyone convinced that you truly have moved on.
  3. Let him know you’ve got game. All the time that you’re trying to show everyone you’ve moved on, you need to invest in making yourself over from the inside out. Become the stronger, more independent woman you’ve always wanted to be. Get a makeover. Change your hair style. Learn to walk in those six-inch heels guys love so much. Become confident in your own skin. Once you’ve accomplished all this – then you let him see you coming and watch the fireworks as he takes in the new you.

Why is this so Effective?

In relationships, you often begin to take each other for granted. The more you learn about each other, the fewer mysteries there are to uncover. You’re presenting him with a whole new you and many more mysteries to unlock. It’s a curious mystery he’s powerless to resist – especially if there ever were genuine feelings on his part. And your girlfriends? They love you regardless of whether you take their advice or not.

Aug 09

Marriage in Crisis

Life Preserver to represent saving a relationshipIs your marriage in crisis? Would you know it if it was? Do you recognize the warning signs? A marriage in crisis can sometimes disguise itself as a normal but slightly boring marriage until it’s too late to change it and save it.

You have to pay attention to all the signs of health in your marriage to make sure your partnership is going strong. First, look at how often you have sex. While sex isn’t the whole point of the marriage—it’s much more important than just that—it’s a crucial part of a healthy marriage.

A marriage in crisis is usually pretty easy to spot by looking at your sex lives. Do you have sex infrequently? Is it a big, scheduled deal when you do have sex? Have you stopped having sex spontaneously just when you feel like it?

When sex becomes a scheduled activity, a marriage can certainly recover. In fact, most marriages go through a phase very much like that when a baby is born. Each child makes it more and more difficult to find the time to spend with our partner over a meal or before leaving for work, let alone finding a spare hour to make love.

But a marriage in crisis never breaks out of that pattern. Instead, even when the time is there the partners don’t have spontaneous sex. Usually there’s very little physical affection shown during the day either. People in love and happy to be together tend to hug and kiss different times through the day.

A loving couple will often touch each other just in passing. One will give the other a fast kiss on the cheek or forehead for no reason. Does this still happen in your marriage? Do you ever sneak a quick pinch or pat on the bottom or a sexy look in the middle of the day?

When these things start to disappear, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. The other thing that goes in a very obvious way is common courtesy. When you say “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please,” throughout your day to strangers more than you say them to your partner, something’s wrong.

We take our partners for granted in this way, and eventually this leads to a sort of coldness between people. There is simply no reason not to be affectionate and thank our partners (and say please) during the course of everyday life.

The good news is that if you’re seeing these warning signs, you can start working right now to correct them. And you don’t have to make a fanfare about it or announce the change. Simply change what you do.

Make a point of giving affection and unexpected kisses. Be very polite again, and say please and thank you, even when it’s just the two of you. Make time for making love. Do these things and your marriage in crisis could soon be back on track and you could be happier than ever.

Jul 19

Win Love Back – Make Your Ex Love You Again

Brogan on PoetryHave you recently experienced a breakup, and now you are hoping that you can win love back again?

Getting your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend to fall madly in love with you once again is an endeavor that can be quite difficult. However, if you want to win love back and you have the dedication and the patience to pursue it, you may be able to make it happen.

The first thing you need to do in order to win love back is to figure out what went wrong in the relationship in the first place. What did you do, or what did your ex do, in order to make the relationship dissolve?

You need to be able to address the problems in the relationship in order to win their love back.

If you cannot rectify the issues that led to the breakup, then more than likely, you are not going to be able to restore the love when it comes to your relationship.

If you want to win back their heart, then you are going to have to proceed slowly but surely. If you messed up and did something wrong and that led to the dissolving of your relationship, then what you need to do is apologize and work to regain the trust you once had with your ex.

First of all, you need to be certain that you really want to win their love back. Do you want your ex back or are you simply afraid to be alone? What is going to keep you from messing things up again? Are you dedicated to repairing the relationship once and for all, or might you slip up again?

If you are sure that you want to rekindle things and you are sure that your goal is to win their love back, then you need to let them know by apologizing for the problems in the past, communicating better with your partner than ever before, and giving them the space that they need to figure out what they want out of the relationship. If you do not give them any space, the results of the relationship will not be to your liking.

Again, find out what it is that caused the relationship to fall apart, and fix it. If they were bored with you, find a way to liven things up. If you cheated on your partner, find a way to prove that you’ve stopped. Once you can undo the underlying causes of the break up, you and your ex can start learning to rebuild things in a healthy and proactive way and this will allow you to win love back once and for all.

Learning how to win love back is all about knowing what went wrong the first time around so that you can prevent it from happening again. It may take some serious time and effort, but the investment is well worthwhile when you consider the positive results that are possible in situations like these.

You may want to consider checking out Magic of Making Up for some more expert advice.

Jul 08

Three Steps To Get Your Ex Back After A Relationship Break Up

Brogan on TrustYou’ve suffered a relationship break up, and now you’re wondering if it’s possible to get your ex back. This is a natural reaction and they call it suffering through a break up with good reason.

The answer to that question is yes far more often than you might think, but you need to approach things the right way to have any chance of getting back together.

Before you start the process of fixing a broken relationship, you need to ask yourself the all-important question:  Should I fix this relationship? After a break up, you will understandably be feeling lonely and lost.

This is not a good reason to try and get back with your ex, because these feelings can lead you to ignore the very real problems that lead to the relationship falling apart to begin with.

But if you look at the relationship and realize that your reasons for wanting to get back with your ex are genuine, then it’s time to take the right steps to mend the parts of the relationship that are broken.

Now don’t just go charging in doing whatever you can to get your ex back. You need to take a planned and measured approach. You wouldn’t run on a broken leg would you? Well, you need to take the same kind of care in healing after a relationship break up.

Step One:  Date Someone Else

I know this seems like weird advice when you’re trying to get your ex back, but this is a very useful step. The keyword here is date; this is not an invitation to start a full-fledged romance.

Dating other people serves two purposes. One is that it will show you whether or not you should be trying to get your ex back: if you find you’re not thinking about them and are thinking about your date, then this is a sign that you may be moving on.

The other reason is that it will give you some space to reflect upon your relationship and something to compare it to. This will give you the information you will need to do the next step.

Step Two:  Know what went wrong

The cliché is that people who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it. This is very applicable to relationships having taken a turn for the worse. If you don’t know exactly what went wrong, you won’t be able to fix it and it’s bound to happen again. So it is very important that you figure out where things went wrong so that you can circumvent the issues which caused your relationship break up in the first place.

Step Three:  Use a Light Touch

It’s very important that you start slow and don’t rush things. Do not, under any circumstances, expect things to immediately revert to the good old days before the break up. You need to look at this as starting all over and let things progress at their own pace. Nothing will push your ex away faster than you trying to push them too far, too fast.

While this article will certainly start you on the road to winning them back after a relationship break up, you may still need more advice and instruction. If this is the case, don’t hesitate to look for the advice that will help you get back to the place where you both were happy.  I wish you all the best!

Jun 15

Getting Your Partner to Agree to Relationship Counseling

Relationship CounselingRelationship counseling is most often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce.  But some couples look into counseling early on when the first problems start to appear. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor.  Quite often, addressing small problems early on with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling may even prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to look for help, which makes counseling a good option.  Couples married years ago were less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to ask your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way.  If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea.  Let them know that you want the counseling for yourself and that really want them for your support.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably.  Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse.  Don’t accuse the other person of needing counseling.  Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so.  Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades.  It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems.  And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling.  But that’s not true.  By facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe is even doomed, calmly explain that simply isn’t true.  Just because you’re willing to admit that everything isn’t perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own.  While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

Jun 07

Healing Yourself and Your Relationship Self Help Tips

Brogan gives advice about divorceRelationships are supposed to be able to bring out the best in us but many times it is the root for needing self help advice. Most self esteem issues are directly tied to relationships we are in. It doesn’t matter if you are dating or in a marriage or just in love, it can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world, unfortunately that doesn’t always happen.

One thing that many will try to do is find out if the reason for your difficulties in your relationships is because of the problems between the two of you or is it because of problems that originated early on in either your life or the other persons life. It can be exhausting trying to find the original root of the matter but one thing is obvious, you have problems now.

The best thing to do is to try and fix the relationship that you are in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome each other challenges. You may be interested in reading self help books and utilize different self help techniques. If your relationship is strong, though, there will be no more need to concentrate on healing yourself because you will have a partner to help you overcome. First, though, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.

One thing that is going to help is to never allow yourself to be criticized, or at least don’t internalize it. Also make sure you don’t criticize the one you love. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. There is nothing constructive about it. All it does is make one feel less powerful than the other and it is used to manipulate much in the same way an abuser does. A relationship is not a power struggle and it is not a war. Quit treating it like that and there won’t be any fights to win or lose.

There are some more things that you can do to help your relationship. Where you are separated by beliefs, try talking it out and instead of pointing out where each other is wrong or where their weaknesses are try to find common ground. Take time to discuss what each other’s roles are in the relationship. Also discuss what you expect of the other. Let your partner know what hurts but also let them know what it is you want or need them to do and try to offer the same to them.

Whether you are dating or involved in a marriage there are many things that you can do to help better the situation. Once the two of you have worked to repair the relationship and put away any talks of divorce, separation, or just breaking up, the two of you can work together to make each other better people. Your relationship will help you help yourself image and will help you overcome all those things that hold you back.

Jun 02

How To Stop A Divorce Due To Broken Trust

There are many who want to know how to stop a divorce and there are many answers. Not all of them may apply. People get divorced for many reasons. One of the most common has to do with broken trust.

If the reason that you are in the situation where your spouse is because you have been unfaithful there are things that you should and shouldn’t do to help. If there is something that you did that is the problem, don’t tell them that you can change or try to talk them into believing it, make the change. If you seriously want to know how to stop a divorce start with accepting responsibility.

Actions speak louder than words. If it is something that is a matter of trust that you have hurt, don’t do it again. In fact don’t do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness. If you want them to love you and trust you, you have to prove that you are worthy of trust again. It will take time and hopefully you have not burned them so much that they will never trust you. If you have broken trust, the truth is you don’t deserve to be trusted.

It is the efforts to be faithful that will assure them that you are changing. Don’t deny that you have betrayed their trust and don’t try to justify it. Don’t get mad because they don’t trust you and don’t argue about it. If you messed up, own up and take responsibility.

There may be situations where the one you love has been guilty of breaking trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Think of how you would want them to give you another chance. If you feel that you would, it very well may be that they deserve one as well. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened. It is very possible that it can be resolved. Many times, however, the damage can be irrepairable.

Ask how to stop a divorce by going to friends who have been in your shoes and been through a divorce or from other sources where they have been trained in how to deal with these situations. If your relationship is important at all, it is well worth trying to find help before breaking up is the only option. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.

Be ready for depression to come because of what the two of you are going through. It isn’t easy to deal with this and you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening. Love relationships can be great but they can also bring a great deal of stress when there is broken trust involved. If you want to know how to stop a divorce, seek as much help as possible. You don’t have to do it alone.

May 26

Understanding Your Troubled Relationship And How You Can Save It

Life Preserver to represent saving a relationshipOkay, so you are in a relationship and you are finding things are starting to get a bit confusing. You may be feeling like the relationship has run its course, or maybe that you are just not being honest with yourself. You could be merely pretending to be happy, or maybe you are afraid of what the next step will be. These are signs of a troubled relationship and can plague the person or put strain on a possibly already damaged relationship. One of the more common feelings is guilt over lying and hiding your true feelings about the relationship and its status. There once was a great deal of love in the relationship, but now there are a lot of mixed feelings and factors that are contributing to the mixed feelings that you may be feeling.

When you have begun to consider your troubled relationship, it is important to brainstorm what sort of things that you want and what you do not want in your relationship. The latter can include not wanting to be cheated on, abused and ignored and so on. When it comes to items that you want to have happen, these can include wanting to grow and develop emotionally. You may want more excitement and romance in your relationship. Sometimes you want intellectual and spiritual stimulation, including discussions and attending outside meetings and events.

Once you have a list of your wants and desires, you need to go through them and identify which ones you truly want and which ones are not all that important. You need to figure out what sort of situation you are in and whether or not it will continue on its current track. Observe your partner and try and figure out if they are capable of growth and doing their part to help turn your troubled relationship around. They need to be able to contribute to the repair of the relationship and move it forward.

If things are truly bad, then you need to step back and see things with a clear head. This may simply involve separating temporarily, so that you and your partner can take the time alone to evaluate the situation without distraction. Without having to live together and deal with all of the stresses of being together, both of you will have a clearer head which will provide the basis for a true evaluation of the situation.

What you may find is that the relationship is such that you two cannot be together and that you need to end the relationship. Some relationships are not meant to be and that should not discourage you. There will be someone for you. If you do find that you and your significant other are capable of making things work in your troubled relationship, then make sure that you and your partner are open and communicative. Without communication, it will be more difficult.

A troubled relationship does not necessarily mean that the end is near. What it does mean is that you and your partner need to take the steps to work things out and move the relationship forward, whether that is towards its end or continuation.

May 16

Christian Marriage Counseling: Getting God Inspired Guidance

Jeff and Debbie McElroyChristian marriage counseling is used by many couples striving to follow God’s will and seek His guidance when the need for marriage counseling has come. When your marriage is struggling it is important for couples to get good advice from marriage counselors. If you are Christians then it very well may be that you need to get marriage counseling from someone coming from the same place.

The problems that you have in your marriage may be an inability to relate to each other for some reason. It could be due to more serious problems such as adultery, pornography, lying, or many other things. Whatever the reason, it is incredibly important that you seek a counselor to help you help the marriage.

The advice that you may get from secular marriage counselors may be good but also may not give you guidance that comes from God’s word. There are many counseling choices available that you can turn to before your marriage ends up in divorce. The best way for many to avoid that has been Christian marriage counseling.

Many churches now have marriage & family counselors on staff and may also have a counseling center. They are able to provide many types of counseling services but are of great help in family therapy and Christian marriage counseling. They will not just try and help you solve problems in your marriage but will be able to help make your marriage stronger and draw you closer to God.

A good Christian marriage counseling program will have a counselor that will draw you and your spouse back together and will help draw you closer to God, together. It will help you get your priorities back in line so that the two of you will be able to focus on things that are more important.

It is really important that you do not hesitate to find help if you are having problems. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to fix any issues. This is no time to be in denial. You need to get things back on track and Christian marriage counseling can help you accomplish that.

The hardest thing that you may have to face is trying to convince the one you love that getting counseling is important. It may be necessary to go and seek advice from a counselor on the best way to get your loved one to go in for counseling.

There is a lot to risk either way. There may be some things uncovered that will be uncomfortable to talk about but facing those issues and addressing them has to be done. You will also have to learn a lot of humility as you may find out that you are the source of some of the problems. You may also find out that there is very little that can be done to save the relationship but still you will have done everything you can to save it.Forever Families

If your marriage is important to you and you are trying to have a Christian family, then finding a Christian marriage counseling program is of the utmost importance and you need to know about The Ministry of Jeff and Debbie McElroy at ForeverFamilies.com. They have a program called Marriage Tune Up and it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen or heard of. Go now and learn about what they have to offer. Many people have been amazed and surprised and I believe you will be too.

May 11

The Game on How to Win My Ex Back

Brogan gives advice about divorceHow to win my ex back? Get the game on. Not to take the situation too lightly but it is a competition. It is a game, but an incredibly important game.

There is a former head coach for the NFL team the N.Y. Jets who said something incredibly memorable after a big loss one Sunday.

“This is what’s great about sports. This is what the greatest thing about sports is. You play to win the game. Hello? You play to win the game. You don’t play it to just play it. That’s the great thing about sports: you play to win, and I don’t care if you don’t have any wins. You go play to win. When you start tellin’ me it doesn’t matter, then retire. Get out! ‘Cause it matters.”

Right now may be the most important game of your life. The results could have a direct impact on the rest of your life. This is something that is supposed to be taken seriously. It is something that you have to believe you can do. It is something that you have to try and go for it. How to win my ex back is to put everything in and hold nothing back. How to win my ex back is to play the game to win!

Is getting back with your ex really important to you? How much thought have you put into this? How much time have you spent looking at yourself and trying to improve areas that may have caused problems? The truth is, you will never know how to win back your ex unless you decide that it is the top priority in your life. Treat it as the most important thing in your life and chances are you will have a greater chance of success.

When you are seeking relationship advice and are asking, “how to win back my ex” the advice you get won’t matter unless you believe that this is something you can do. If you want that romance to return, you have to believe that you can do it. Why even bother playing if you you don’t believe that you can win your ex back? You have to have confidence in not only your ability to do this but you have to believe that you deserve this. Believe in yourself and you will soon find you won the game “how to win my ex back.”

If your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend is worth the effort then you have to put some effort in trying to get them back. You want to know how to win your ex back? Play the game! Don’t just sit around thinking about it? Do something! All the greatest ideas in the world are meaningless if they are put into practice. It is true that knowing is half the battle but no game or battle half fought has ever been won. You want to get your ex back, you are going to have to do something about it. Take action!

The real way how to win ex back is to just jump right in and give it everything you got. What ever strategy you employ, don’t mess around. Take it seriously and put in 100%. If you know what it is that your ex wants then hold nothing back. Meet their needs. Find out what it is that you have to do and put everything into it.

Getting back with your ex is a huge challenge but it is something that you can do. Just make sure that you treat this as the important thing that it is. If you learn how to take it seriously and really play to win the game then you may have just discovered “how to win my ex back!”

Now get to it!

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